Something magical happens when our kids get together with their cousins in the summer.  And this week was no exception.  

Now before we dive in too deep, I’ll admit that I’ve created the most cheesy, Pinterest-inspired title for a blog post imaginable… and I will not apologize for it.  But I promise this article won’t be quite as tender and vomit-inducing moving forward.  

This week, the crew headed to Locust Grove, VA, about an hour south of Washington, D.C..  It’s home to the “Lake of the Woods” – a small lake in Northern Virginia that Jackie and I have been visiting for the better part of two decades.  Years back, this place was home to nothing but a Burger King and a sketchy gas station.  Now the area boasts a Walmart, Mexican restaurants, and a sea of brand new townhomes. It’s getting serious.  

The Lake is quiet; home to weekend lake-goers, AirBnBs, and former Government big-wigs.  Based on the number of American flags, Jesus-themed bumper stickers, and old pickup trucks, I gather this is Republican territory.  That said, recently I’ve been seeing more rainbow flags, hybrid vehicles, and shirts that say “Be Kind,” so perhaps the political landscape is evolving.  Regardless, the people here are amazing.

My in-laws stay at one of the coolest houses on this lake.  The place has a name (“Lakeview Hideaway”) and an Instagram account (@lakeview_hideaway), so its legit.  This week, it hosted 12 kids, 7 adults, 4 dogs, and 3 birds… all of which combined to create 1 very interesting family dynamic.

Every year, our three families assemble at the Lake for a summertime celebration, which is where this story begins.  

July 1:  

The kids and a few (sucker) adults went to a Fourth of July parade.  Reports from actual dads in attendance were not great…

That night, I enjoyed the annual fireworks show on the water without my wife. Why? Because I made the mistake of sending our dog “Lucy” away, and then Jackie decided that she needed to accompany Lucy so that she wouldn’t be lonely and/or scared. I should know by now: when I fight the dog, the dog always wins.

July 2:

We spent most of the day out on the boat.  60% of the time its absolutely amazing. But alas, 40% of the time is spent listening to kids posture over who gets to go tubing next.  You see, there’s 12 kids, and only 4 can get on the tube at once.  This triggers exchanges like this: 

July 3:

Another day out on the boat.  Again…

60% this: 

40% this:

July 4:

The whole day was a blur.  You see, at some point, a rather inconsiderate member of the group (she knows who she is…) used the word “panties” out loud in a sentence. This made me upset, grossed me out, and left me confused as to why people are still using this super-creepy word when “underwear” gets the job done just fine.

July 5:

We took tour of Old Town Fredericksburg – the childhood hometown of George Washington.  We did it on horse drawn carriage, which I would 10 out of 10 recommend.  We got all the good gossip: affairs, bankruptcies, arranged marriages, and Thomas Jefferson dissing on George Washington’s mom.  That’s good stuff.

The kids didn’t enjoy this tour as much as the adults. But, the horse (“Faith”) did go number two during the tour which was a worthy topic of conversation for at least a few minutes.

We rounded out the day watching The Parent Trap (1998, of course).  Since watching this movie I can’t seem to stop saying “I have class and you don’t” in a Lohan-inspired British accent.  I don’t even care.

July 6:

We explored Luray Caverns.  The benefits of this excursion are (a) its gorgeous, (b) its naturally air conditioned, and (c) its not far from the lake.  

The one downside is that there’s signs everywhere that say “please do not touch the rock formations.” So, naturally…

On the way home we stopped by the Blue Quartz Winery in Etlan, VA.  Gorgeous setting, and great wine, but the kids were tired and wanted to go home after a long day. Which is fair, but bruh…  

July 7:

Boat by morning.

That afternoon I stopped in at Crossfit Forward in Fredericksburg, VA.  I was loud, wore a sleeveless cat shirt, and complained the entire time. Then, I made them take a picture with me…

July 8:

Spent the day with my Guam sister Sonja (and everyone else). I was more than a little excited to see her. Major props to Jackie for nailing the action shots…

July 9:

Yesterday I headed home and spent the day feeling all kinds of nostalgic.  The Lake of the Woods has changed over the years, but will always be a very special place for our family. Indeed, something magical happens when our kids get together with their cousins at this lake in the summer.  

And this week was no exception.