Ok folks, our Cooperstown baseball “experience” is off and running. I will be posting updates from this page throughout the remainder of the event.

Wednesday:

We left off on Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night was “Spirit Night” wherein each team is formally introduced like they’re in the main event of an MMA pay-per-view, and the parents get rowdy in their quest to earn the coveted “Spirit Award.” Alas, despite our best efforts, we fell short and didn’t even crack the top 4 “most spirited” teams.

You guys it’s not my fault.

See, I told the parents that we all needed to have matching outfits but nobody would listen to me. We all looked amazing nonetheless.

Opening night typically features a “skills” competition: home run hitting, base running, etc. However, we were informed that these events were being moved to a later date due to high temperatures (in the upper 80s). One member of our team’s GroupMe noted “lol…soft” and this comment got many likes. This was hilarious to a group of Florida parents that have all experienced youth baseball in temps that mimic the weather conditions in each of Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell.

Thursday:

Game 1.

Woke up around 0645 on Thursday for our 0730 game against the Wheatland Ducks hailing from the state of Illinois.

How did the team do? I’d say “pretty crappy” but that might be putting it mildly. The team squandered an 11-3 lead giving up five fielding errors (FIVE ERRORS!), and the game ended in an exciting 12-12 stalemate.

I know we dont typically give out game balls in tie games, but mine goes to Yandi Torres, who hit a Grand Slam that proved useful as this comedy/tragedy unfolded.

Me on the outside: shake it off, boys, it’s totally fine.

Me on the inside:

Baseball Hall of Fame.

After Game 1, the team took a trolley to Cooperstown proper. Someone let a 15 year old be the DJ, and I’m thinking it’s a good thing much of the music was in Spanish. These were not songs from my clean-only Pandora playlist, and they dont sound like songs from my Cancun Spring Break playlist either. But who knows.

Upon arrival at the Hall of Fame, 13 super-charged middle schoolers speed-walked through the museum in chaos while the dads did the best they could to get them interested in particular artifacts. Sample response: “oh yea, cool, some old guy named Pete Rose put too much pine tar on that bat…”. Look, it’s gonna be tough for museums to appeal to a generation of kids raised on TikTok, but there were glimmers of interest throughout and I’m calling that a win.

Game 2.

Game 2 was special. The planned start time was 9pm, but lightning delayed the first pitch to 11:30 – as in, just before midnight. Our boys of CBU Jacksonville were set to clash with the “Pirates Baseball Buccaneers” and I have no clue where they are from. I chugged all the coffee I could and headed to the field. We were hyped for this one.

As the game unfolded we parents invented some new chants and talked solid trash to both the opposition and our own kids (we were particularly ruthless to our own), as the parent bleachers are strewn across the outfield. I offered the opposing team’s left fielder $5 to drop any fly ball, and $10 if it was my son’s. He wasn’t amused but I sure thought it was funny.

The game ended at 1:30am, and CBU came out on top with a 9-2 win. My game ball goes to Max Mease, who struck out six in three innings in a brilliant outing on the mound, and I’d have to hand one to Isaiah Hagist who hit a grand slam and provided valuable insurance runs going into the final inning.

And with this win we are BACK, baby. We are so back.

Time will tell if we can keep the momentum going… both on the baseball field, and with our sweet fashion statements.

I’m optimistic.

Picking up where we left off…

Friday:

Game 1.

After some sketchy sleep, we got to the field by noon for our face-off with the NorCal Hit Squad based out of Sacramento, CA. With some guidance from our team’s fashion consultant, “Yandi’s Dad”, the boys took some risks with their eye black, and looked more respectable than ever. They were ready.

The game got off to shaky start, with a leadoff homerun by the other team. The damage was limited, and we bounced right back with five runs on offense. That was the good news. The bad news? Shortly thereafter, we heard thunder from a distance and prayed the umpires wouldnt notice. “Please dont notice, please dont notice…”

They noticed.

We got more rain and more lightning and this resulted in more delays. Lightning delays are tragic to baseball parents. They are the worst. They also transform baseball parents into amateur weather forecasters, and we spent the next few hours playing our part talking about “cloud conditions moving in from the northwest.”

Later. The game restarted and the boys won this game with minimal nail biting. Final score: CBU 14, NorCal Hit Squad 1.

The game balls go to Maddox Donohoe, who pitched a one-run gem, and Brock Butrimas, who hit a bomb to center field that may not have landed yet.

Game 2.

The second game began at 9:30pm. It was a much-anticipated matchup with the Irvine Colts hailing from the great state of Texas. The pre-game vibe was loud. It was exciting. I chugged two cups of coffee to ensure I was caffeinated from the bleachers. LET’S GO!!!!!

But yea, CBU lost this game 9-2. The game was a disaster and I never want to think about it again. It was errors and umpires and injuries…

Oh my.

Saturday:

Game 1.

The first game of the day came against the Ninth Inning Blue Jays from Georgia. My dad, Mike Howland, made the trek to watch this one. The team jumped out to an 8-0 lead and never looked back. CBU took this one 16-5, and put on a hitting clinic with four home runs.

Game balls go to Isaiah Hagist, who went deep (twice), and Mason McQuaide, who gave up zero walks and zero runs in a solid winning effort on the mound.

This game was not without controversy. Someone (ahem, Yandi’s Dad) drew the letters “PR” with eye black on my son’s cheeks. Look, guys, I’ve got nothing but love for Puerto Rico, but I’m more of a “U-S-A” guy myself. Had we lost this game I’d have made the entire team listen to Toby Keith on a never-ending loop for the rest of the tournament. We won, so…

Viva Puerto Rico!

Game 2.

The final game of pool play featured a matchup with the “Slammers Legends” from the state of Colorado. We definitely tapped the rockies.

Jimmy Howland got the start and pitched 2 and 1/3 scoreless, hitless innings. The no-hitter was doomed the second Nash Butrimas had the *AUDACITY* to mention there was a no-hitter in progress. The very next pitch? It was a hit.

CBU won this game 19-0.

Game ball goes to Jimmy Howland, who was great on the mound.* Second game ball goes to Wyatt Antonio, who went 3-3 with a home run, and 4 RBIs.

* Editor’s note: Jimmy’s mom is sleeping with the editor of this website, and it would be fair to question the integrity of this accolade as more of the same “DaddyBall” we’ve come to expect. I’m not changing it.

Dinner Party.

After the game we went for pizza at a mom-and-pop joint called “Pizza 23 West.” Typically going out to dinner as a baseball team is a miserable 3.5 hour experience but this place was organized. After, we had the boys pose as though the umpire just rung them up on a called third strike. The result?

Elimination rounds begin tomorrow. I think.

Either way, it’s do or die from here on out. Let’s win.