You’re Running Out of Time to Hop on the Jacksonville Jaguars Bandwagon 

You guys, I see it now: it was always the Jags.  

Yep, after years of turmoil I am officially DONE with the Washington Redskins/Team/Commanders.  We’re through!!! Besides, I have a better team now.  I’m riding with a champion.  I’m talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars.  

My 2022 NFL Season

I assure you I’m not entering into this fanhood with baby steps.  I’m jumping in at the deep end.  

My timing couldn’t be any better.  They’re the reigning AFC South Champions and hosting a playoff game this weekend.  I knew this was a good match the second the Jags made the playoffs last week.  

Well guess what?  I woke up last Sunday as a winner.  And now I am encouraging the holdouts to join me. So…

ALL ABOARD THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS BANDWAGON!!!! Yep, I’ve muscled my way in and I’m ready to make room for more.  

No fanhood is complete without a jersey.  So guess what?  I GOT ONE!!! 

Is it a Trevor Lawrence jersey?  No, those things are like $200.  But fortunately my wife hooked me up with a used jersey that’s EVEN BETTER.  I’m talking about a 2009 fantasy football legend.  I’m talking about Maurice Jones-Drew.  At $30, this thing was a freaking STEAL! 

And unlike those new jerseys that you get at an actual store, this gem was kept in a sketchy garage and has been broken in by a resident of DUUUUVAL.  It smells like mullets and day drinking.  It’s perfect.    

I like it even more than this one: 

Stud H.S. Football Player Alert!

Yep, I cherish my MJD jersey even more than my James Madison High School Warhawks football jersey, which I still own!  That’s the jersey I wore that one time I caught a two-point conversion for the JMHS varsity team.  “The Catch” – as I call it – that indirectly contributed to our 2-8 season the last year of the Clinton Administration.   Because as special as that jersey is, the reality is: it was always the Jags.* 

*I don’t exactly know what that phrase means, but everyone is saying it and it sounds so legit

Since last week I’ve wasted no time recruiting the next generation of Jags fans.  My wife got a jersey for our oldest, but he’s not ready for this commitment and says he’s “gonna wait” to decide if he’s a Jags fan until after the first playoff game.  Whatever, kid.  It’s just disappointing that he’d wait until the team succeeds to finally commit… 

I’ll be standing by to give my son his jersey when he’s ready.  Or maybe I’ll just keep wearing it..

Look, there’s something special in the air here in DUUUVAL.  Things are changing.  The streets are almost completely devoid of crime.  Keto people are eating bread again.  Cuz life is short, and everyone here is filled with team spirit.   

If you’re still on the fence about this team, then I’ll reiterate what I told my son: after they win the Super Bowl it’s too late to hop on this train. It’d be no different than choosing right now to become a Georgia Bulldogs fan. Don’t come at me with some weak sauce “Go Dawgs” now. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED!

If you don’t lock in your fanhood with the Jags before they win it all, you’re just gonna have to wait til next year.  Now is the time.  And indeed…

It was always the Jags. 


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